Thisisit

and they're off!!

2011-01-20T17:49:00.003-05:00

We have the okay to start looking for houses. Yippee!

I wanna stay here though. Want to stay here.

My new life...

2011-01-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

Things are going fairly well here in limbo land. Waiting for insurance to tell us what to do is not fun. Always having in the back of my mind of list of things that need to be done but really don't want to start is even less fun. The home we are staying in for now is absolutely wonderful. I love the size, the layout, the design. It is also helping me make decisions about the rebuilding of our house or what I want to look for in a new home. I am feeling anxious about decorating the inside of a new or rebuilt home. I know what I like when I see it. So I guess I need to start saving magazine pictures and websites with decorating ideas. There is a pack of 100+ pictures on this computer I need to start poring over to make a list of what we lost. Can't I just say "Everything!" and they write me a big check and be done with it? so much easier for me, really.

i miss these two

2011-01-11T01:59:00.000-05:00

Sammy and Darby did not make it out of the fire. The died from smoke inhalation on the second floor.

Oh my where has the time gone?

2011-01-06T08:54:00.000-05:00

well I am back. But not for longer than it takes to say this. 2011 I am ready for you!
I meet with my new trainer this morning and I am terrified. She is skinny and nice but does she know I am not skinny and not as athletic? as she? I am sure it will be fine but I am concerned nonetheless.

Plus, here is a photo of me from earlier this week.

notice the belly not quite as taute as 3 months ago

Oh yeah, and my house burned badly. So there's that. I have lost everything. Mostly. Everything that I had in my possession on December 4th was gone or damaged beyond use on December 5th. I will post something bout that later cause right now I am going to stop.

How to love your daughters?

2010-07-12T11:30:00.000-04:00

Carlos Whitacker has an amazing blog site at Ragamuffin Soul that always has questions and conversations worth reading and answering. Today was no exception. The title itself grabs your attention of course.

Boobs

Just being honest here…
So I have 2 unbelievably beautiful girls.
They are still at the age where they crawl up on me in the middle of the night and spoon me from both sides.
But the time is nearing an end. I can feel Justin Bieber slowly stealing them away.
But above all of that, I am freaked out about one thing.
Well really 2 things.
Actually, if you count both of them, 4 things.
Boobs.
What the crap am I going to do when they get boobs?
I’m not kidding.
I watch men whose kids are growing them.
They pretty much just give up at that point.
How did you handle that happening?
How did your parents handle your beginning boob stage?
Was it really the most awkward and strange period of your life?
Help this father 2 little girls not tie his daughters up and leave them in the top of the castle from age 13 till 34.
How did you handle the boobs or how did your parents handle that time in your life?

Los

Someone else said it, I will second it. Keep up the dialogue and tell them everyday they are Beautiful. You do not have to say “You are beautiful.” in those exact words but find a different way every day to show it. Love them for who they are and will be and be sure they know it always. There will be days when you want to throw them onto the roof or across town…it is okay. They still love you. It is just this tornado of hormones rushing through the system that make it completely impossible for us..I mean them..to know what they are saying or even why they are saying it. Horrible things will come from their mouths aimed at you the parents. There are days it is a complete out of body experience for the child and parents. Looking at my daughter Chloe at 4 years old now I am scared for our future. I pray she knows forever she is beautiful as she is and that through it all I am her mommy...forever.

now where was I...?

2010-07-02T10:23:00.000-04:00

Last night while drifting away to sleep I thought of a really great blog topic.

No, really.

I did.

Sure you cannot see any proof of it here, but last night? I was freaking brilliant.

You were all in awe and jealous of my crazy ability to think of deep thoughts.

What?

You don't see it?

Well. Trust me. It was great.

I was all, "look at how smart I am friends! look what I can do!"

i m liking this

2010-07-01T02:47:00.000-04:00

Where oh where can my trainer be?!

2010-06-30T08:27:00.000-04:00

As I may have mentioned earlier, I think, it is summer vacation. This means a few things:

My kids are home from school...All. The. Time.
My trainer whom I love and adore is on vacation completely out of the state. She deserves it so I hold no ill will towards her.
It is hot outside often.

"So what Erin. What does this mean to you?" I hear you collectively thinking.

Well, I guess the above items have given my mind a small vacation too. I have gone to the gym a few times although not nearly as often as I crave. My heart would love to do a bit more here at the house. For whatever reason just the kids being here in the house is enough of a deterent to keep me from doing what I should be here.

What have I been doing?

Swimming with the kiddos.
a few push-ups here and there as instructed by Beth.
small slow walks with hubby and the kids in the evenings.
Bowling. (Yea Me my last game was 133 and that is really good for me)
House stuff i.e. dishes, laundry, picking up stuff all the time.
Knitting, lots of knitting

I guess my point is this...I don't think I am burning as many calories as I was a month ago.
I am trying to stay on track as far as the food goes and feel pretty good about that so far. In fact, I weighed myself last week at the gym and am officially 20 pounds lighter than I was last year at this time. Personally I have been thinking about Zumba but will not put the money into a video at this time. I think I would much rather try it with a group of friends or other women and thus increase the humility level exponentially.
Am I worried about going backwards? Not At All. because I am certain without a doubt in my mind that this is my life. Nothing will take me back to that...except the damned cheesecake at The Cafe of OSS. No worries.

On a side note, I need to figure out how to use the word "I" less.

and because I do not enjoy posts without photos....here you go.

Week 2 with Renee Pearson: Just the Basics

2010-06-16T14:48:00.000-04:00

Here is my newest page....what do you think?

Morning time, again

2010-06-14T09:30:00.000-04:00

This morning I was happy to find a non-feverish Chloe laying next to me. We had a bit of a scare Saturday. She started complaining of a headache and pain in her neck; something she has never had before. Laying on the sofa she would suddenly cry a bit, then stop. A few hours later a fever began. I have just enough medical knowledge to make me scared of meningitis. Called the physician on-call at 10:30pm and he reassured me. Since the ibuprofen was calming her fever it was unlikely to be the big M. I could not sleep for fear I would miss something. Near 3am Sunday morning Chloe started to cry again of head and neck pain. Her fever was back up to 101 under the arm. Off to the hospital we went; but not until Chloe vomited in my van. Thankfully the emergency department was empty when we arrived. They were fairly quick in getting us back and nurses checked all the vital signs. Chloe again began to perk up after being there for a hour or so. The only reason we were there longer than two hours was Chloe's heart rate was a bit high so they hydrated her until it calmed down. We left at 6:30am and life was calmer again. Thank God it was not Mengitis. Dr. Becker was certain she was fine and told us what to look for if it seemed to get worse. **side note: the hospital was kind enough to give us two very handsome doctors so early in the morning. Thank you Wellspan. Hee hee.

I awoke this morning with Chloe to my back. She had been awake a little longer than I and quickly informed me, "Mommy, you snick [stink]!" Well, good morning to you too! So I got a shower, my daughter's approval, and another day of fun.

Jared and Nate headed off to their last day of school and will be home by noon. We hope to go bowling after that but it will depend solely on how much of this mess I call a home is "cleaned" by then.

Have a wonderful day and count your blessings!

Another successful page with Just the Basics and Renee Pearson

2010-06-08T10:37:00.001-04:00

I am loving this class!! Just the Basics with Renee Pearson

Just the Basics by Renee Pearson

2010-06-07T18:24:00.000-04:00

Having purchase Photoshop Elements 8 and not a clue of how to use it, I decided to take the online class offered by Renee Pearson. Just the Basics

Here is my first quickpage, supplies included in the cost of the class. Even though I have done quickpages before with Cathy Zielske I still learned several new things! Thank you Renee!

Thank you Trainer Beth!!

2010-06-04T09:33:00.000-04:00

My trainer kicked my butt last night! Thank you mistress LOL
I felt a bit sore this morning and expect to get worse as the day goes on. I am figuring out I need to take my inhaler along with me. Last night was the second time I have had the thought, "I REALLY wish I had my inhaler." Beth checked on me and I said I was okay...I was...but I was concentrating really hard on breathing :D

More people are noticing something is different in me. Our pizza man, my grandma, my husband. I feel great and know that I am eating healthier. Remember, I need to be an example for my kids. It is not easy all the time. Last night in particular Jared wanted to buy about 8 different junk food items but I stuck to my guns and said over and over, "That is not a healthy snack Jared. Let's look at the label." Okay, I did cave and let him buy Twinkies but only because he was going on a field trip today with his school. Otherwise, I am pretty solid with limiting "juices" and candies.

I tried to take some pics at the gym but the battery on my camera was finito. There is a waist. I have a waist! I also still have a butt but I have a waist!!

My little Gleek...

2010-06-02T16:13:00.000-04:00

Chloe and I are watching the "Funk" episode of Glee together.
Quinn is singing a perfect soulful It's a man's world. Pregnant teens
are dancing around like nobody's business. Funny I do not remember feeling
that limber when 8 months pregnant? but I digress...

Chloe: Mommy? Are there babies in their bellies or did they just eat too much?

Me: ROFLMAO

Glee

What's Happening?

2010-05-28T09:37:00.000-04:00

1. I feel like a bit of a terrible mother right now. The reason is simple. My daughter, the love of my life, the reason I actually get out of bed in the mornings, has sunburn on her back. Yesterday was picnic day with her preschool and I was totally on top of the sunscreen. Got the arms, neck and cheeks. We were good to go. After preschool she and I went to my friend Ashley's house to play and visit. Ashley has a new little kiddie pool. Her daughter is 3 and a 4 year old girl was there too. All the kids played and laughed. Chloe did not have her swimsuit along and so she was swimming in her underwear. I wish I was 4 again. Any way, completely did not think about applying sunscreen to her back or belly while she was playing. Her back was super red last night. . . and uncomfortable. Thankfully her belly was not at all injured. This morning she complained her back is still hurting and I feel horrible bout it. We are redheads. I know better. I promise to do better baby girl.

2. Nathan has his 2nd grade field trip today to Indian Echo Caverns. He is adequately excited. Most of all he seems to be looking forward to the gem hunt at the end.

3. Jared is doing well in school and mood. He continues to grow and mature. He could single handedly eat me out of house and home if I let him. I find myself wondering if I am supposed to let him eat because he is growing? Or am I supposed to keep some order and portion control of his feeding.

Okay, Jared is not at this point thankfully.

4. My own weight loss is going well. I am down 15 pounds from last year at this time. I am in much better shape too. Still not skinny but on my way thanks to Beth my personal trainer.
I find myself mildly stalled on my food journaling the past two weeks. I am not sure of the reason. Some of it may be busy schedules. Both this and last week were quite full. So full that I called and canceled my workout with Beth yesterday. This is the first time I have done this. Summertime is upon us and I need to figure out my new workout schedule because the kids are going to be here every day all day. So I either need to make myself go in the evenings OR drop the kids at a friends house for an hour or so.

5. Robin and I were going to see U2 in Philly July 12. Bono had surgery, didn't call us to make sure it fit our schedules. So our concert is now postponed. :(

6. My friends Lou, Kris and I are starting a new guided Bible study next week. It is about time I get back into that routine. Refresh-Your-Heart

7. Overall life is good. Thank you God!

Lake Tobias May 15, 2010 with the Summers Family

2010-05-16T21:37:00.000-04:00


Jared, Nate, Briana, Chloe and nephew Dylan

Jared watching the petting zoo activities

A capybera: the largest rodent of the world. Think Rodents of Unusual Sizes.

Chloe petting a baby zonkey.

This adorable prairie dog was watching us closely.

Gorgeous tiger. Pacing the cage. Always make me feel guilty for watching.

I could have sat with these cows for hours literally. Loved them!

This is obviously one of my long lost children. So Cute!

Chloe's version of winking while eating her french fries.

Worst. Breath. Ever.

Nate chillin on his side of the bus.

Jared feeding some water buffalo.

Jared was afraid to pose with the Llamas for fear they would spit when he wasn't looking.

" That's right. Get my good side."

So majestic.

Briana and her dad, my husband, Chris. A long awaited prodigal daughter if you will.

Go ahead. Say "No" to that face. I dare you.

Nephew Dylan

Jared with my mom and dad, Rita and Joel

Emu father leaving his egg to get some grub from the bus.

Can you doubt God when you see the colors and display of a peacock? I do not think so.

This llama was humming anxiously the whole time. Maybe he is a bit upset with the haircut?

Only God knows how old this turtle is. He was huge!

Please check out the video on Cathy's page

2010-04-26T10:36:00.000-04:00

Cathy Zielske shares a wonderful video worth your time

Digital Scrapping, what do you think?

2010-04-26T07:29:00.000-04:00

My first ever attempt:

I worked on this and it felt like it too forever!! mostly because I have very basic understanding of Photoshop elements. I get that there are "layers" but it seems to elude me how to get these layers where I want them! Thank goodness for Cathy Zielske and Lisa Cohen having instructional videos during the classes I purchased on Big Picture Scrapbooking. Their classes did help me quite a bit. What do I love about digital scrapping? It is ridiculously simple shopping experience and painfully small space it takes up in my home. The down side? It is ridiculously simple shopping...I can purchase a ton of adorable stickers and papers and stamps without realizing just how much stuff I have put into my cart! Another down side is once I have them saved onto my computer it is harder to just look through my goodies. There has to be a better way to have them organized on here. At the moment I have everything into a separate designers folder. So I cannot browse through and see them all together. Maybe I need to put them all into one folder. But that goes against the slightly compulsive organizer in me. Oh curses!

Found this journal and wanted to share....

2010-04-19T10:33:00.002-04:00

Weight? What weight?
Ok. I’ll go there. My weight has been a lifelong issue of sorts. From the time I started puberty (10 years old thank you very much) I have struggled with eating too much, exercising not enough. I gained lots of weight after the birth of each child. I lost lots of weight after two of the three. Weight Watchers is an awesome program which I wholeheartedly endorse to any person willing to listen. For whatever reason, after having Chloe, I just could not get into the correct gear for Weight Watchers. I lamented, I angered, I wished on stars. None of these things worked. At the time of this journaling I began to exercise on a regular basis with Leslie Sansone walking videos. I also cut down my portions and began to eat several small snackie meals throughout the day rather than three big meals. In the last six weeks I have lost 10 pounds! The plan is to continue this lifestyle and get myself down around 180-190 pounds. I know it is not going to fall off overnight because, let’s face it, this weight was not put on overnight. I am okay with this. I am finished abusing my body and mind with irresponsible eating and exercise habits. What kind of model is that for my kids? Not a good one. I want them to remember their mommy working to have the body and mind I wanted. I pray for confidence in my walk. I want to run and play with them for the next many years to come. Don’t forget the grandchildren too. Someday I want to be the cool Grandma that can get down and dirty with the best of them.

Good Morning World

2010-04-13T08:39:00.000-04:00

Work was killer this weekend! Luckily Saturday morning I met with my wonderful trainer Beth and did the exercise thing for close to 90 minutes. We rocked! Sunday was just a busy at work but without the workout in the morning. Yesterday was a recoup day. I didn't work out but I did keep moving. This morning I will be at the gym while Chloe is at preschool. Chris is here at the house laid off for a couple weeks so he will be working on Ebay which may make me move even more so I am not sitting on my arse at the computer.

Now I see this post is just me gearing up for Ali Edwards week in the life project...

just a quick note

2010-04-12T15:23:00.000-04:00

Psst...

I LOST 3 POUNDS LAST WEEK!!!

Drumroll please.....

2010-04-09T11:18:00.000-04:00

Feeling awesome lately due to exercise and healthier diet. Realize I am not a size 8 and may never be...but dang if I don't feel like it! Rings are looser, pants are looser, shirts are looser. I am looser *ahem*

Please enjoy pictures of a journey:

July 2009-no smile

August 2009-smile found !

November 2009-more skin than you wanted I know...sorry

January 2010-feeling good

April 2010-Today (toes still painted from the cruise ;)


Feeling so good needed two pictures!

Folks I am feeling 100% in the moment. I am not depriving myself of anything and fully aware of consequences for less than great food choices. In my head is this thought: worked out 30 minutes this morning-burned off about 500 calories; do I really want to destroy that with a Snickers bar or McDonalds McFlurry? I will not lie. Some days yes. I go ahead and have the flurry of goodness. But it is OKAY! My calories are accounted for and I have made an informed decision for myself and my kids too. AMEN!!

Idol judges....you are so lucky

2010-04-08T14:11:00.004-04:00

Thank goodness the American Idol judges used their save last night. Why? Because I would have reached right through my recording, backwards into time, and wrung their necks!! I still cannot believe Big Mike was the lowest scored because let's face it...the cutie Aaron that sung first was HORRIBLE!!!!
I am not saying the Michael is the next American Idol. HOWEVER, his Eleanor Rigby rendition rocked. Aaron is cute and lovable I guess but overall I have to say even with the voice I just don't care for him that much.

The problem with this season?..

...No Adam Lambert. I know, I know. I can't have him. But boy do I want him!!
That boy could perform and knocked the socks off of fans and judges week after week. This year there is not a solid performer among them. His CD was different from what I expected over all but I dance around and rock to it regularly. When he sang Mad World on the show ...? Are you kidding me?! I understand why he didn't win the whole kit and caboodle. I'm just saying if he ever decides he wants to test the waters in my direction...? I. Am. There. For. You!

I think I have said enough.

So to recap:

1. Judges are safe because they saved.
2. More Adam please.
3. I love my husband very very much.....not sure if that was understood or not from this post. :)

why I do it

2010-04-07T19:20:00.002-04:00

1 Peter 3:3 NIbYour beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.

I realize I am a person who thrives on positive re-enforcement for my efforts.

I am not sure when this dawned on me for the first time. Feedback helps me to press on forward. Not always for myself either:

Hey Erin,
I just wanted to tell you that you helped me out yesterday BIG TIME!!!
I was feeling depressed yesterday and I just wanted to eat myself out of it, so I went to Sonic after dropping H off to school and I saw you going into your gym. I turned out and did not go in. I just road right on around. I think you look GREAT! I am so proud of you!

And another message from someone who works with my sister:

I got a massage the other day by one of my colleagues at Ragged Edge Yoga Studio. She's one of my friends on FB and she commented on how much she enjoyed your journalling. She happened to see something on my page that prompted her to check your profile out. She said when she read it she felt so inspired and good that she went for a jog that afternoon. She wanted me to pass that along---that she really appreciated your honesty and whole-heartedness into your journey of being healthier.

Last but not least a really awesome random card from my parents just letting me know the world would be boring if we were all the same. They love me just the way I am.

Each day I work to be a healthier version of myself. Not only for myself but for my kids and my husband. I make sure to have them see me make better food choices. I want them to see mommy moving and playing on the ground with them.

Is it no wonder I wake each morning with a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart?! Seriously there are days I just want to run around hugging every individual in town shouting at the top of my lungs, "God Life is So Good!! Thank you GOD!"

What a day

2010-04-07T10:37:00.001-04:00

For the better part of this morning I have been vacuuming and re-arranging and trying to think of a different way to do it. A different way to look at my living room and dining room. I work a bit then sit down and dawdle. Work a bit more. . .get cereal for Chloe. Task at hand just a little longer...and still no new ideas have popped into my head. This much I know: I need shelves. Something of a large bookcase for my living room, Robin I am looking at you here. My best friend has a great big book shelf in her living room area and I love it. Now...How do I move that to here without her noticing?
Billy Bookcases are in my future.
As the book shelf she has will not come here I instead moved my sofa to where the love seat was, the love seat to where the table was and the table where the sofa was. TaDa! The big problem at hand is there are too many tables. Lots of space not being utilized at all! Too bad I don't have a family in the business of making furniture and such..*ahem*.(my family) .

Also I recently got the idea of painting my living room and dining room. I have been following the sage advice of someone who once said to clip magazine articles and pictures and such that represent the look I am going for. So I have been doing that. Since the beginning of time, or when we bought this house, we have been in a state of semi-repair. The kitchen is finished, mostly. There is just one wall that needs patched and painted. The dining area is dry walled but not painted and one of the walls needs the top finished too. New carpet would be fantastic!! but alas, we spent our tax return on a wonderful amazing cruise to the Western Carribean.

Every now and again our priorities get flopped, but in this case it was well worth the trip. I am still recovering financially BUT it was a good idea...as the following proves:

Costa Maya, Mexico

Search Amazon.com for western caribbean Search Amazon.com for western caribbean

Where am I now..?

2010-03-30T09:48:00.002-04:00

Well, it has been a bit since posting about the weight loss and exercise journey. Things are going well. I continue to exercise on a regular basis. I have started working with a personal trainer/nutritionist, Beth. This means I now have someone to kick my butt if I don't do what it is I said I wanted to do. Beth is super nice and of course very motivational. I use the gym's website to monitor my activities and food/calorie intake. The biggest surprise for me is the difficulty in eating enough calories to keep up with the exercise. In fact the only day I did not have a problem with getting my full calorie count would be the day before my hormonal friend. Big surprise there right? On that day I ate as if there would be no tomorrow. Alas, there was a tomorrow. Beth is very down to earth and does not yell at me for a day like that. She completely understands and has been there. Another great item about having a personal trainer is this: she puts the weights up without me knowing. I get on the machine like any other time go through my reps and then Beth says, "How was that? Because I increased the weight 5 and you didn't even notice!" I am amazing!! :)
Granted I am not getting the abs of Pink just yet but I am at least another 8 weeks away from that

...just kidding. I feel so good though! And I really do love it when the weight gets higher and I am pushing through it. My least favorites to do are the Shoulder presses and the Leg extensions. Not because I can't do them, but they seem to "burn" the most and so I get to put on my weight lifter face. Grrr.

So even with that day of over indulgence I lost 1.8 pounds!! Yeah Me! Plus don't forget about extra baggage from my friend visiting. So this week will be even better I just know it!

Overall my life is so good. There are bumps with the kids and money and work...but that is exactly what life is about, right? If every day went exactly according to plan, well, it just would be dull.

I am listening to Lady Antebellum and Train right now. My favorite song so far is the I Need You Now. Just love that they can't seem to stay away from each other. I thing most have gone through a relationship like that.

Chloe and I like to sing Hey Soul Sister in the car together. A really fun little song that celebrates being the women we are.

My review of ALICE IN WONDERLAND

2010-03-22T18:13:00.001-04:00

I absolutely loved it! The colors the story the character everything!!! There was not a moment where I felt it was dragging on. There was plenty of eye candy the entire film. Tim Burton has long been a favorite of mine and this added to the list of must haves. My best friend Robin and I sat mesmerized for the entire film and we were reluctant to get up and return to our realities I think. During the movie I found myself imagining what exciting "art" I could create from their lead much like my recent issue of Somerset Studios. I want to see Alice again. I want to take my kids. I want to buy it. I want to bathe myself in the macabre and glorious-ness of all the digital amazing-ness of Tim Burton.

YAHOO!! PICTURES ARRIVED SAFELY!!!

2010-03-18T13:29:00.002-04:00

My Snapfish order has arrived...I will be busy for the next few hours trying to put these photos into books to show off and make all my friends jealous.

2010-03-18T10:28:00.000-04:00

This morning I took my dogs for a walk for the first in a very long time. As I walked I took notice to a friend following; leading; then sharing the path. She looked good; better than I remembered. I found myself unable to look away for a moment or two. She laughed at me. And maybe I am a silly girl but I felt proud of her. It is not easy to do what she is doing. I bet she has another 70-100 pounds to go but I could see in her strut that she is feeling on top of the world already. I know. She is me.

My shadow is showing. I was not ashamed of her shape. I feel confident. World, please do not get me wrong. I am fully aware that I am not in any stretch of the imagination in the best shape yet, but here is the thing...I feel better. I feel so much thinner than I am! In some ways this can be frustrating but I am choosing to read it like this; I know the person I am inside. I am not this overweight woman who continues to cry and whine and complain that nothing works for me. I am doing something about it. This is my life and I only have on chance to do it right. Thank God I have been given time to fix some wrong decisions in the past and the knowledge to make the right decisions for my future; for my kids' future. Thank God for the sun and the rain and everything in between. Every day I have been given is a gift and I can't wait to see what each day holds for me.

Got an urge to scrapbook? – Martha Stewart Living Radio: The Radio Blog

2010-03-15T21:32:00.001-04:00

Got an urge to scrapbook? – Martha Stewart Living Radio: The Radio Blog

Posted using ShareThis

Ok go Rocks! A new video to top the treadmills...

2010-03-04T13:08:00.001-05:00

Thank you dooce for pointing out this amazing video! Amazing! So much work and ingenuity must have gone in to this one....

I love my husband....that being said

2010-02-23T10:19:00.000-05:00

I am really tired of my computer being, how shall I say this delicately, F#$@ed up. For the umpteenth time our computer was on the fritz because of my wonderful husband "updating" and "moving" and "adjusting" the stuff on it. Thank God he is savy enough to fix what he has broken for the most part. However, on more than one occasion my entired iTunes collection was lost and half of my photographs were "there but not accessible". And he is silly enough to look hurt when I start to hyperventilate if a song or picture is missing. WTF! I love my husband, but when my tax return arrives I will be purchasing my own laptop which he will not be permitted to touch. My sons? sure they can use it , but the adult in the family? No Way Jose'
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.
.
.
.
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okay, I will probably let Chris use it too, but sparingly and only after signing a binding contract.

What did you learn in school today?

2010-02-18T12:48:00.002-05:00

Me: Chloe. What did you talk about in school this morning?

Chloe: We talked about the colors of the [Olympic] trophies.

Me: Wow! That's neat. . . . What are the colors of the trophies?

Chloe: Mom. If you wanted to know this you should have stayed at school with me today.

Me: *touche'*

I have included this photo for anyone else who may have missed preschool this morning.

I am so doing it!

2010-02-18T12:43:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I went to my gym ANYTIME FITNESS and met with my friend, Terri.... Okay she is actually a personal trainer, but I totally think she likes me too. Anywho...she did my measurements. The last time measured was 2 months ago. I;ll admit I was nervous. What if I am doing all this work and there really is no improvement? My clothes fitting better may be they are stretching out more?

I am happy to announce I have decreased the amount of space I occupy.

The scale showed 5 less pounds than two months ago.
My belly (at the bellybutton of course) is only down a 1/2 inch but that is okay.
My chest is down 2 inches!
My hips are down......wait for it......2 inches!!
She also did the body fat percentage meter thingy. I am now a mere 39% *cringe* body fat.
My BMI when down a whole point too.

Conclusion: I am rocking the exercise/workout/feel better thing.

I was a bit disappointed my belly has not decreased more but I suspect you have to actually cut more food out of your diet for that to happen. My fellow blogger at Short Attention Span came to the same frightening conclusion recently.I was also concerned my chest/bust measurement was down two inches because I'll be honest, I like my boobs bigger. Terri was kind enough to say the inches are probably coming from back-fat loss, not boob loss. God love her she thinks my back-fat is leaving!

In an effort to further improve my chances I will officially cut out the burgers and fries. Salads will become my takeout friend. I will also cut out more than one piece of pizza a week. My favorite new "alternate-to-ice-cream-or-other-sweets-at-night" treat is frozen strawberries or blueberries with vanilla yogurt and granola sprinkled over the top. YUM! In fact I am pretty sure this has permanently replaced ice cream at my house for me. When I am at McDonald's with the kiddos I will still get a vanilla ice cream because that is frozen yogurt and, according to Weight Watchers, only 3 points on the "ouch scale". I should clarify I am not currently enrolled in Weight Watchers. In the past though I was a member and lost many pounds after the birth of Jared and again after Nathan. 50 pounds each time to be exact! And so I know their teaching works. It helped me to understand the food going into my mouth so much more.

Chris and I are leaving for a cruise on Norwegian Cruislines on March 7th. I would love to lose about 40 pounds by then....but if that is not possible **wink wink** I'll take two weeks of exercise and positive affirmations. I am finally to the point where some folks at work noticed I was smaller too. I feel so good. Believe me I am not a fanatic but I am happier even if I move at least 20 minutes for the day in a sweating style.

I leave you with my daughter's point of view

What snow?

2010-02-17T09:31:00.003-05:00

All of a sudden I am not so upset or concerned about our measly snow last week.
This photo was borrowed from www.darkroastedblend.com

A vintage snow

Moving right along

2010-02-17T08:36:00.001-05:00

My fitness is moving along nicely despite acts of God or Satan or Nature.

The great part is that my wonderful DH purchased EA Sports Active for me and I have been doing that for five days; so far without fail.Yesterday I finally made it back to Anytime Fitness after 10 days!! I find the EA Active program working a bit better for me than the Wii Fit Plus . The reason is simple. Wii Fit Plus has games which you choose and balance activities. Ea Active is a fitness program. That is all. There are no cutesy games disguising the workouts. With Wii Fit I found I would pick the easier tasks rather than venture to the actual strength training or yoga poses because I was a little scared of trying them. I would work up a bit of a sweat but overall could not tell much difference in performance other than just getting better from practice. I could convince myself that I was working out because I was doing the Wii Fit; when in actuality I was doing nothing spectacular. EA Active is a personal trainer and that is pretty much it. An elastic band and thigh strap come along with the package. I feel I may need to shorten the elastic band because it doesn't feel like it is doing much for me at times. I don't feel a whole lot of resistance. The other downfall is the thigh strap is made for a lovely skinny thigh-ed gal; not me. There is an extension piece of Velcro included which I figured out by day three but there have been times when the whole band falls off my thigh mid running spree. Even with these minor issues I really am loving it. The sessions so far have been approximately 20 minutes long which is perfect for my Attention Deficit mind. The first two days caused my quadriceps to scream in protest. Ibuprofen became my dear friend because I could not walk without whining and wincing in protect. And forget about it after sitting for any length of time. If I sat down for 5 minutes it was torture to stand and get moving but by day three I was feeling awesome and proud PROUD!

Moon Sand, Aqua Sand, Glitter Sand and various other grainy subjects

2010-02-15T15:23:00.004-05:00

Chloe's birthday was February 7. She turned 4. Chloe overheard me telling Chris that I was kind of bummed about her getting older because the age of 3 is my favorite. Chloe asked me if I would still love her even if she was 4. I assured her I would and decided maybe 4 won't be so bad. On Chloe's birthday she asked me to grow with her so we may be together forever. Once we solved that matter life was good.

So since it was Chloe's birthday there were presents to be purchased and given. It was not difficult to find something for Chloe because every commercial that comes across the TV causes her to grab me by the arm and scream, "Mommy I want that. I really want that!" And every time I say, "Okay." Luckily she is 4 and does not grasp that I am not lying I am acknowledging that I know she wants everything on the TV. One item in particular was the Aqua Sand product. The commercial promises sculpting fun. Heck I even believed them. On our recent trip to Wal-Mart there was Aqua Sand on sale. Chris looked at me and said, "I promised her Aqua Sand for her birthday." Chloe was very anxious to open and play with her new item. First I must tell you the container for the sand is not nearly as big as I thought it would be.

Second, the sand they send along is pink and purple. Each has its own bottle and funnel. Great! Now we poured the sand into the water filled container but I tell you now there was no sculpting involved. Plus it takes about 15-20 seconds for all the sand to be dumped into the aquarium.

Well, now that is done. So next we need mommy to scoop all the sand out of the water; yes the sand is still dry Yippee!!

The scoop is approximately 1 teaspoon big. As soon as the sand comes out of the water it is loose and dry. Amazing. As I was scooping the sand I can feel whatever chemical coating is on the grains to keep them dry; there is also a mild odor. Not a bad odor but definitely a smell. The sand will get over your table, chairs and carpet.

The child will want to play with it again so allot 30 minutes to scoop the sand to allow for another 15 seconds of play time. Our dining area now feels like we have been at the beach for a week.

Chloe has played with Moon Sand which is guaranteed to stay moist. She has played with Aqua Sand which stays dry. She has played with Glitter Sand which promises to glitter. Her 4-year-old life is complete. My 33-year-old life is grainy.

Mitch Hedberg quotes

2010-02-11T17:35:00.000-05:00

Mitch Hedberg quotes

This is a great page of the late great Mitch Hedberg. Too bad he faded before his time.

Gotta love that face.

2010-02-11T16:58:00.001-05:00

Can you tell we are trapped in our house by snow: I have more posts in the past two days than I have put in the past 4 months!.

Open letter to Sting

2010-02-11T09:26:00.000-05:00

Sting,

I just wanted to send out this open letter to let you know

I am here for you

whenever you feel low

Just give me a call

I'm a plane away

Snow fight

2010-02-11T09:09:00.000-05:00

Overall, I will be completely happy. As long as my husband and boys do not end up killing each other by the time this snow-in is finished, I will consider the week to be a total success.

So much time

2010-02-10T17:25:00.002-05:00

First there was this snow December 19th.

In fact it was the most snow we had received in over 15 years. Did you hear me? 15 YEARS!! Back when I was a teenager for crying out loud!! As if God and Mother Nature heard me and the rest of the human race revel in the white stuff we received even more last night. Well, I say last night, but it is still snowing and blowing and so much that I can't bear to open the door and take any more pictures right now. but I will share a photo here taken by Kari Ellis who lives not too far from me.

I will remedy that shortly. Here is a nice photo of Nathan getting ready to go outside and shovel some of the crazy white mess away.

Not that you can tell he did anything now but it is the thought that counts right?

And so we at the Summers' residence have been watching movies and cooking

And knitting and playing on the computer

We are a family fighting cabin fever; so far successfully.

In other news, Chris has been feeling great which translates into less irritability with the kids and more attention given to me. He has even suggested we , he and I, go on a cruise for our anniversary next month! And so we will be leaving for somewhere far away the first weekend in March. Another awesome item up for review is his making positive comments to my appearance. Usually he just feels it in his head and never lets me know what he is thinking. In my usual self doubting self, I interpret that to mean he doesn't care; we all know that is not true and yet I worry and doubt and worry some more. Well today he made a point to tell me how good I looked; specifically he could tell I was losing weight. This may not sound like much but for me it is huge. We have been dealing with depression in this house a lot over the past few years. It is awesome to see a change for the better.

The Gym: I am so anxious to get back there. As I mentioned before the weather and illnesses in the house have really hurt my schedule, but I will prevail. I have no doubts to that. I know that I am on the path to repair. No more baloney. No I have not stepped any closer to the TV videos I have but I thought about it seriously while I was typing this :)

My Schedule keeps getting rescheduled....

2010-02-09T08:44:00.001-05:00

I am currently working on a Wellness Journey with Lisa Cohen from Big Picture Scrapbooking. The journey is an eight week guided tour of healthy moving, eating and mindfulness. My first three weeks went great. Then week four came. I was sick with a GI virus of some sort; not once but twice. Coincidentally, that week's quote was "Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." -- Greg Anderson. The point was to not get side tracked when schedules don't go as planned. So I was sick, and then sick again a few days later, then it snowed and I haven't been to the gym regularly AS I HAD SCHEDULED this month at all! I am hating it. Even this morning I have decided that my house and going to the grocery store needs to take priority over gym time that I would normally take while Chloe is in preschool. But listen, my house really needs to be taken care of and my refridgerator really is looking bare. Meanwhile there is another snowstorm heading our way and my family is thinking we might not make it through the whole day if I don't get some stinkin bread and milk. They are probably right. So Chloe to the school, mommy to the house. You are thinking, "Erin, just use one of your videos there on the TV stand." Alas my mind does not work this way. How can I possibly work out at home when there is so much to do at home. Too much screaming for my attention at home. Dishes, laundry, dogs, Chloe, vacuum, bathrooms, blah blah blah. At the gym I can't hear any of that noise. On an up note, I did rock the shovel Saturday and Sunday to dig my family out of the 24+ inches of snow. I could not have done that in November.

This blogging stuff...

2010-02-07T12:22:00.001-05:00

I read recently on The Junk Drawer that we should not waste good stuff on our comments....and that is exactly what I hvae been doing! I comment and status update and post all those pictures and nothing comes to my blog. Whatev! My dear Robin recently started her blog and now I am feeling motivated to get back to is again. and again. and again. and so it is with great joy that I acknowledge I might possible start blogging more often maybe if time permits and i remember.

2009-12-15T08:27:00.000-05:00

Back to the Future

2009-12-03T08:00:00.001-05:00

As of December 1, 2009 I am officially back on the bus again. I joined the new gym that is only 15 minutes or less from my house. Perfect for working out while Chloe is at preschool or Nate is at wrestling. I went last night and walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes then did some arms, back and shoulders work on the Nautilus machine for about 30 minutes. I sweated a bit and it felt good. Maybe, just maybe this is the finally the time I get back to me! I feel empowered once again.

Yes, I should be.

2009-10-06T09:43:00.000-04:00

My house is quiet. Chloe is at preschool, Chris is still in bed, the dogs are eating their ProPlan Sensitive Stomachs calmly in the kitchen. I should be doing one of the following things: dishes, laundry, picking up everyone else's stuff, or exercising. I am doing none of these things. "Why and you not doing any of these tings Erin?" Well...because that's why. I just don't feel it today. It is my first day off from my new job at OSS in 7 days. I am enjoying the silence that is my house right now. Actually Marvin Gaye is singing in his best sultry voice trying so hard to convince me Le'ts Get It On. Hm Chris is still in bed...but I digress.

Exercise feels good!

2009-09-30T16:31:00.001-04:00

Here is a lovely picture of me with my red face. You see I exercised for 40 minutes walking 3 miles with Leslie (Sansone) and feeling really good. Yet 30 minutes and a long shower later I still look as though I am about to burst. Oh well. Comes with the territory when you are a redhead I guess.

By the way, I did some measurements and I have lost another 3 inches off my waist and 2 inches off my hips! Yea me!

oh yea, I went there

2009-09-25T07:55:00.003-04:00

I am down a total of 10 pounds now! I am very happy with my progress so far. It has not been too difficult for me to stay on task. I have my eye on the prize which is a happier healthier me. Someone even noticed that I looked a bit smaller. (Thanks Cat!!) And while talking with her I came up with the idea to post this tidbit. I had hubby turn on the video camera one evening while I was exercising. Why on earth would I do this!? I can almost hear you screaming at the computer screen. Well, I would be marching my little heart out and wonder if my legs were up high enough, or is my back straight enough. And I have to admit I wanted to see just how silly I looked trying to look athletic.

The outcome was this. I was proud of me. I looked good gosh darn it! My heart was pumping and my butt was moving and gee if I didn’t feel good about myself. Yes, I looked a little silly.

Drum roll please

2009-09-14T21:14:00.002-04:00

Okay y'all, listen up. I just took my measurements.

Measurements were taken 8/11/09 and 9/14/09. Weight loss in the past month is 2 pounds which brings me to 7 pounds total loss.

I am going to list the amount lost from each area. Drum roll please…..

Neck: -1"

Wrist: - 1/4"

Forearm: -1/4"

Bicep: -1"

Bust: -1/2"

Chest: -1"

Waist at my belly button: -2 ¼"

Hips: - 1/2"

Thigh: -4 ¾"

Calf: -1"

Ankle: -0"

Left Ring Finger: -0"

I am super psyched over this amazing progress for me!! And just imagine if I had been religiously exercising during the past month. What with my bronchitis and Chris's injury it just did not happen the way I planned. But I am so happy with these results and feel even more energized to keep up the work.

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten...

2009-09-14T06:37:00.001-04:00

Well, I haven't fallen off completely. I tried to exercise last week and nearly fell over. Bronchitis and Leslie Sansone do not mix! Asthma, blerg. BUT I have not stopped eating better. I can report an 8 pound loss and a jean size down. Yahoo!

iTunes knows me…better than I know myself!

2009-09-06T10:48:00.001-04:00

iTunes has an ingenious button called, well, Genius. This button is my new best friend. I have many many many (too many) songs in my library. Like, over 15,000 songs. Seriously. The Genius button allows be to create a playlist with absolutely no thought of my own involved. It pulls from your library music similar to the current selection. For instance, if listening to Miles Davis, it will probably create a list of jazzy assortment. Casting Crowns will give me various Christian Contemporary and so on. You get the picture. I was listening to Outkast's album, Speakerboxx. Specifically the catchy tune "Hey Ya". I love that song! I love shaking my generous booty to each and every beat. I wondered to myself, "What type of songs will I get this time."

Observe the masterpiece that is Genius from iTunes:

Hey Ya! – Outkast
To Have And Not To Hold – Madonna
A Girl Like You – Edwyn Collins
Be Still my Beating Heart – Sting
Me Against the Music – Britney Spears
Little One – Beck
Money Can't Buy It – Annie Lennox
Princes Familiar (MTV Unplugged) – Alanis Morrisette
Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel – Billy Joel
Thief of Hearts – Madonna
Can't Do A Thing – Chris Isaak
Being Boring – Pet Shop Boys
I Want You Know – Depeche Mode

The list made no sense to me and yet it is good. Now, where is the connection to Outkast's "Hey Ya"? I don't know. I don't see it. But rest assured I do like these songs and darn it if they don't sound good together in a mix. iTunes, you ARE genius and dang it if I don't love you more every day.

The finger of fate

2009-09-04T08:47:00.002-04:00

I am unable to form fully rational thoughts right now for lack of rational emotion. I am angry. I am sad. I want my husband to be whole again. I want the time back just before lunch when I dropped off his sandwich. I want the moment when I asked him if there was anything he wanted from the grocery store just before I left. Give me the moment to stay for lunch with him instead. Maybe if we had stayed with his for lunch…he would have gotten back to that damn saw just a few seconds later and the destiny would have been broken. The other workers would have been back from lunch too and that would be the moment with allowed him to think just a tiny bit further. The saw would not have been on. What if I had said what I was thinking at the moment 30 minutes earlier, "Be careful. Don't lose a finger." I swear to you that is exactly what I was thinking when I dropped off his lunch. What if I had recognized the moment it happened while I was walking in the grocery store? I should have been listening to my gut and stopped back at the shop just like I wanted to. I want my husband's wholeness back. He is angry and sad. He is embarrassed. I was mowing the yard yesterday. For three seconds I seriously thought I could cut myself on my right hand/finger. Then he wouldn't feel so alone on this one. DID YOU READ THAT! I really thought I could help him by losing my finger too. But then I remembered; "who would take care of him if I was unable to open the bottles and cut the food too." Whew, catastrophe averted.

Today I wish I knew a place to run and scream. Really scream. Not into my pillow. Not into a jar. I want to scream and fight and punch something hard. I want to pull my hair and behave certifiably nuts.

My husband is hurt and I wasn't able to stop it. God I know I can't control…well…ANYTHING in the long run. You have the final say. Forgive me for my anger because I know there are so many worse things in the world right now that could have happened to him. Things that happen every day to other people. Disgusting, immoral, sick things people do to each other and themselves. I get that. I am tired and emotional and sad.

2009-09-02T05:37:00.002-04:00

Over the past two days I have been to the hospital and seen my husband in terrible pain physically, mentally and emotionally. I have learned that he loves me deeper than he is able to show me daily. I have learned I would put myself in the line of fire for him without a breath's pause. I have seen doctor's in awe of the human body and its ability to cope and defend. God's will be done. I pray for healing of mind body and soul for Chris. Thank you God for guiding Dr. Mitrick and other doctors during Chris's "abnormal" revival from anesthesia. I praise You for his return home today. I praise You for giving me life; not only for each and every day I wake and breath in your every creation, but also for the life with my husband. I know we are here for each other. I praise You God!

Wagon...

2009-08-25T19:57:00.002-04:00

Don't worry. I have not fallen from the exercise wagon already. I am recuperating from camping vacation induced bronchitis (self diagnosed). While on vacation I did get some exercise but not the structured walking I had been doing. My regimen included but was not limited to: walking 100 yards to the bathroom and back, lighting campfires, refereeing between Oppositional Defiant cousins (Nate and Austin), swimming in Raystown Lake, sleeping on an air mattress with Chris AND Chloe, attempting foreplay in Raystown Lake (succeeded YES!), skinny dipping at midnight with hubby. Yes I know, TMI, but I am so darn proud of it dontcha know.

We came home Thursday evening and I finished the laundry from this crazy trip yesterday. That's right 4 days of laundry folks! No Joke. Because we in this house insist on wearing clothes daily. Every day! This is often where I begin my rant on nudist life being the way to go but I will spare you, dear reader...

Yellow Star

2009-08-21T19:37:00.002-04:00

Okay. Two weeks down a lifetime to go.

2009-08-14T12:02:00.005-04:00

I have been exercising at least 5 days out of 7 and feel such a difference already! I am able to do the video with less falling down in exhaustion ;0) On the days I did not do the video I was at the pool swimming slow laps with Chloe or Vanessa holding onto my back. Don't get too excited it was not 100 laps or anything really impressive like that. It was closer to 20 but still better than sitting still.

Seriously, I am up to walking the 2-mile walk with Leslie and feel awesome by the end. I have taken my measurements and was so disappointed in myself. How did I let this happen again?! And worse than before?! But no worries. I am not beating myself up over the weight stuff anymore. I am on the healthy road to recovery.

Christmas came to Felton today. The package I have been waiting for arrived. Leslie and I are going to kick butt…mine! I walked to the post office this morning after seeing the USPS transaction had it logged in Felton. Yahoo! I am psyched and ready to work it.

Here I am smiling with my new video.

Next I had Jared take my picture. Yikes I still don't look great BUT look at that smile! Much happier than two weeks ago. Right?

Wednesday night I was walking in the living room to my video and in walks hubby. He gives me this look as if I was wearing dayglo green spandex (trust me that is not a good look for me). He walks nonchalantly into the kitchen. I finished my video and walked out to say howdy.

He says, "What was that?"

I said, "I have been doing this for two weeks now."

"When?"

"Well, during the 14 hours that you haven't been around? I managed to squeeze it in there somewhere."

Laughter from hubby.

I must say this is one way I know he loves me. He laughs at me; he gets me.

So Far…

2009-08-10T14:56:00.002-04:00

This has been a great week actually. PMS aside and eating for the hormones life has been good to me. PMS stands for Pretty Mean Sista in this house. I honestly think my new exercise regimen has cut down on the witchiness this time around though. I am up to walking 2 miles with Leslie Sansone. I ordered a nice set from eBay and expect it any day. ItWalk at Home with Leslie Sansone: 5 Mile Walk, 4 Complete Workouts on DVD, 2lb soft hand weights, Walk Belt, and firming bands.
Hooray for me! It may be in my head but I think I am losing some measurements already. I have been so horribly out of shape. Evidently any movement at all is worth it for me. Who knew? J I will take some measurements for my own documentation then I can report back how that is going. I was once told that you are unlikely to lose pounds and inches at the same time. I do not know if that is accurate.

In other business, babysitting the twins came to an abrupt halt this week. I may have mentioned in the past they stay with their father every other week and so I only had them on the mother's week. Well, last week they were at their father's house being "watched" by the 16-yr-old neighbor/friend. The kids (Jared, Nathan, Chloe and Vanessa) were out running errands in the morning. The afternoon was spent at St. Luke's Lutheran Church (my childhood church) enjoying the annual summer picnic. I arrived home around 3:30 to find 9 messages on my voice mail. The first two were odd and I could tell the twins were on the other line. Essentially they were making fun of Jared and Nate's last name, Schmuck. But after those two the twins began to verbally assaulting Jared and me. I will not write a word for word here because do not want to lose any friends by typing like an 80 yr old drunken sailor. There was more swearing than any 10-yr-olds should know. Threats to beat up me and Jared. Threats to Kill me and Jared. Yes. You read correctly. I contacted the mother immediately who was terribly upset. There have been some custody issues between mom and dad. Mother is scared she will lose her boys to this type of behavior at the father's home. I explained I could no longer watch them, she understood completely. She urged me to call police and press charges because they are at dad's and not being cared for blah blah blah. I did. Nothing was accomplished though in the short term. I gave mom a CD of the voice mails and hopefully these two are helped soon.

2009-08-04T18:18:00.002-04:00

Thank God for Sweds!! Adorable dance by some very very brave men. My fav part was Kung Fu Fighting!

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2009-08-03T22:28:00.000-04:00

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Hooray for week 1

2009-08-02T20:14:00.002-04:00

And so I weighed myself today at grandmother's house; before lunch of course. I have lost 5 pounds if her scale can be believed. This is a great start. I exercised 3 out of the 4 past days. Why not 4 out of 4 you may be asking? I'll tell you why. Because on Thursday Herbert and Franklin decided that catching 3 ducks was a good idea.

It was 3:00 and I tied my sneakers ready to sweat. DVD in place and ready to go my phone rings. Miss Allison, a very nice neighbor of mine calls to tell me she did not want to be a tattle tale BUT Frank and Herbert were capturing ducks down close to her house. In Felton there are close to 150-200 ducks which call the hollow home. They swim up and down the creek and wander around the woody parts. The ducks are a sort of neighborhood pet. I love watching them. "I'll be right there," I say. Walking over to Allison's house was probably just as fast as my exercise video would have gotten me. And the adrenaline rush alone probably burned a few calories too. I was very, very not happy. Marching the boys back to the house I ask, "Just what did you plan to do with these ducks?" The ducks were not theirs to touch let alone do anything else with. Their answer, "We can kill and eat them. Ducks are good to eat." Folks, my response was a huge, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!!" Now, I know ducks are edible. Ducks you shoot in the wild or mountains or whatever. Not the cute baby ducks that are swimming next to houses and following their mommas. I placed them at our dinner table in plain view until their mother came to pick them up. I filled her in and she of course said "so sorry, that's their father's teachings blah blah blah". I am glad there is only two more weeks of me watching them. Next year I am fairly certain I will answer a no if asked to watch.

Any who. I ate salads. I exercised and stuff. I feel good. It is a bit early to post another picture of me looking oh-so-happy-to-have-my-picture-taken. And so instead I offer the photo I took of my sunflowers.

If you haven't heard of Flight of the Conchords you are missing out.

2009-07-30T15:18:00.002-04:00

Bret and Jemaine crack me up. Comedy gold.

Day 1…or…the first day of the rest of my life

2009-07-29T15:18:00.004-04:00

It has come to my attention that my life is in danger.

As it was written in the last post, I am fat. There I said it. The elephant in the room has been dismissed.

As much as my inner beauty fights it cannot lower my blood pressure or ease the pain in my knees or give me energy to play with my kids and/or dogs. In order to show my determination I have been in prayer a lot over this matter. God and I have been in deep negotiations over calorie intake vs. calorie burn ratio. I begged and pleaded but the ratio stands. Apparently, you have to actually move in order for these things to be burned. It does not, I repeat, DOES NOT matter how hard you think about it.

There have been several highlights which led to this decision to blog about my weight.

Dutch Wonderland—My parents were generous enough to take my family to Dutch Wonderland. We all had so much fun. The kids ran all over the place and I got on the rides with them and wow, we were tired by the end of the day. There was one embarrassing moment though. Chloe wanted to get on a ride for which she was just a tiny bit too short to go it alone. So we stepped up and sat into the boat which would now spin us all around. Chloe and I sat down. The young man came around to push the safety bar down. Yep, I am too fat for this ride. Not a good feeling. Luckily, Jared and Nate came along too and Chloe was allowed to stay on the ride with them. My ego and I retreated to the fence and watched with the fakest smile permitted. Later Chris and I went on the rollercoaster (the big one) my butt just barely fit into the seat.
Vanessa—"Out of the mouths of babes…" As noted before, it has been pointed out very bluntly by the 4 year old expert, "You're fat."
Blood Pressure—When I was younger, my blood pressure always normal to below normal. I was quite proud of this fact. I always got a kick of hearing the nurses say, "Gee, I almost didn't hear it there!" Now it is borderline high. 140/90 –ish. Not good! High blood pressure and strokes are in my family history (as well as several cancers but I digress). I do not plan on leaving my family on account of my own stupid inability to put the sandwich down already. Chris is a smoker; I am an eater. The addiction chemicals are the same for each of us.
Clothes—enough already. I want to wear normal sized clothes and not pay $2 more because the seamstress had to add another yard of fabric to cover my arse.
In the past, I was in great shape actually. This was right around the time Chris and I met. Just because I am happy is not an excuse to be lazy. I want to be beautiful for my husband as much as for myself.

Just to show I really mean it this picture was taken with my camera sitting on top of my Bible.

I will attempt to take a picture and post each week. Given I have approximately 100 pounds to lose it will probably take a bit to see a real difference. I promise though, if you remain patient so will I.

Dear Lord give me strength to overcome the obstacle that is me. I know I can do this with your help. "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." (Matthew 26:41)

Kuroshio Sea - 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world

2009-07-19T20:50:00.001-04:00

Kuroshio Sea - 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world from Jon Rawlinson on Vimeo.

Ouch.

2009-07-16T10:54:00.001-04:00

I have been inspired by a fellow blogger; thefathlete. She shared right here on the computer for anyone to read that some person (I use that word loosely here) called her a name. That is bad but even worse is that she listened to it for even a moment.

This struck home for me because of something that happened yesterday during a lunch break with my husband. Chris, Chloe, Vanessa and I were having lunch in the van during lunch at Mastercraft (hubby's work). It is nice to sit with Chris during this half hour and unwind the first half of the day to him so he does not hear it all at the end when he walks in the door. Chloe and Vanessa were playing in the back, talking to each other, singing random songs and of course eating their Lunchables. Everything was great. Vanessa is 4-years-old. I babysit her 5 days a week from 6a.m. to 5p.m.

Vanessa tends to talk non-stop and this can be a bit annoying but otherwise she is a good kid. Vanessa was goofing around and I was goofing around with her. I told her to go back to playing with Chloe because Chris and I were talking.

She said, "You're crazy!"

I said, "Yes I sure am. Go on and play with Chloe."

Vanessa said, "You're fat."

I turned with a look in my eye that I am sure should have knocked her to the ground, "NO! THAT IS NOT OKAY. GET INTO YOUR CARSEAT AND SIT NOW."

She received the message loud and clear. My feelings were hurt and hard by a 4 year old girl who was only reporting the world as she sees it. They are painfully good at pointing out truth you know. Chris and I sat in silence for a moment or two before I attempted to break the ice and comment about a co-worker nearby. Then it happened. Chloe came up to the front and in perfect copycat routine yelled, "YOU'RE FAT!" She was smiling for only a second before Chris yelled, "No! Get into your seat."

Both girls wore faces of bewilderment. Chloe cried but I really think she didn't understand why she was in trouble. She was only copying Vanessa and didn't understand why she was now in so much hot water. Vanessa sat there and seemed to know what she said was not nice.

I am 32 years old and I wanted to cry. Even as I am typing this I have a knot in my stomach of panic. Two little girls hurt me more than I really thought possible. Chris and I sat again in silence. I fought back the tears, somewhat unsuccessfully. I tried to change the subject again and failed. Our mealtime was brought to an end. I Am Fat. For some reason I am able to look at myself and do not really see the fat part. It is in pictures and video when I see it all come out. I hate pictures of my whole body. Upper half and face I can deal with but do not get ME.

There were/are times I wish I could be anorexic. Oh to just turn away from food and have the pounds fall off. Maybe bulimia? I could binge and enjoy all the foods I love so much; then not pay a penny for them. Away the calories would flush away and my pants would shrink. I can't make myself throw up. My gag reflex is too well controlled. Curses.

Twice in my life I lost over 50 pounds utilizing WeightWatchers and their plan. Each loss was after the birth of a child. WW is the best nutritional program out there and I still believe that. However, after having Chloe I have been unable to commit myself to the lifestyle. There are so many things in my life that have changed completely over the past 5-10 years. Different marriage, different faith, different homes. I am happier now. I am more content. Content equals complacent. Satisfaction equals idleness.

No More! I am taking a stand and I will change!

Musings for the afternoon

2009-07-10T15:11:00.001-04:00

I can now confirm that a half bag of Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies is not, I repeat NOT an adequate or healthy lunch alternative. In fact, you may even note it makes one feel pretty sick in the stomach. Who knew? What is wrong with me!? I want all three of my readers to please refrain from answering that last question. Obviously there is plenty wrong with me but who am I to keep a list J

Tonight Chris and I will, finally, pick up a new-to-us sofa and loveseat. I cannot wait! We are buying a 10 year old leather sofa and loveseat from Craigslist. It is located in Hellam and the folks are moving so we got a stellar deal at $150.00. There is minor wear and tear. Honestly, the sofa could be covered in paint and have a homeless man living on it. It would still be in better condition than what we have right now. Perhaps the worst part is that I am still paying on the scraps of urine smelling fabric we call a sofa. Take my advice; never ever purchase something under the 0% interest for a year or more deal. If you are even close to being like me, you might not pay it back before the year is up and then have 'mucho interesto' to pay on this lovely item. And if you are more like me you might just not worry about it at all until you are ordered by a judge to pay it back. Guilty as charged. We are most annoyed because the sofa frame is busted; the fabric is ripped up courtesy of children and puppy, the cushions smell of urine thanks to Chloe's naptimes. Yikes! I sincerely hope you are not all completely revolted by my brutal honesty. Truly my house does not smell bad altogether. Only my sofa stinks. Oh yeah, and Nathan's room due to a hamster who refuses to die.

Teddy the hamster has escaped from her cage five times. Every time she has been found/rescued after a few days and returned to her home in Nathan's room. This is the sweetest hamster I have encountered. She is fuzzy and adorable and polite. Teddy does not bite. Three times she was found by Darby my Jack Russell Terrier. It is a miracle Darby did not eat her! Twice she made it down to the basement and my fearless hubby found her. I am guessing Teddy is about 3 years old. The life expectancy for hamsters is 2-3 years. I must admit I will be sad to see this little girl go when the time comes of course.

My current thoughts on Michael Jackson’s passing

2009-07-07T07:06:00.001-04:00

Yep Michael is gone….and you're surprised?

Can someone please explain to me why it is still a media story that Michael Jackson has died? Michael Jackson died and the rest of the world continued to spin. Amazing! Too bad Ed , Farrah and Billy died right then. They almost got a half page obit compared to this craziness that is Michaelmania-post mortem.

I enjoyed, nay, loved Michael when I was a child. I had the music, the clothes, the dance (sort-of) and prayed God would give my mommy tickets so we could go see him. When Moonwalker came out I watched it every night, twice, for about 2 weeks. I Loved Michael Jackson. Even in the midst of very negative information on him in recent years I stood by him to some extent. All of the "evidence" of inappropriate behaviors with minors was/is very bad for Michael. I felt sorry for him. He really had a messed up childhood. He was extremely messed up on his self image. Michael was an easy target for immoral people looking for a way to cash in.

That being said, I am more surprised he made it to 50 years old than I am he is dead. Yes it is very sad he died. I feel for his family and children. BUT…This man put himself through many (failed) plastic surgeries, skin lightening, hair straightening, oxygen tanks, marriages, comedic parodies, questionable clothing accessories, AND constant idolization by adoring fans who were his lifeblood.

So why are there still at least 3 headlines on CNN.com every single morning? The media should be ashamed of their blatant scrambling for anything "Michael" right down to "video of the room where he passed away". Are you serious? Matt Lauer was giving a tour of an empty Neverland ranch. Matt told us where there was a big screen TV, was a sofa, was a refrigerator. What?! And don't forget poor Michael's kids. These are the ones who are really going to get the brunt of the over adoration of their father. For the rest of their lives they will be watched; exactly what their father was trying to prevent.

I do not know if Michael was guilty of all the "other stuff". It didn't look good. I do know he was a musical genius and a hurt soul. Michael Jackson will be missed, definitely. Unfortunately, I think it will be for the "news worthy" content he provided.

I ate a barnyard...

2009-07-06T07:02:00.004-04:00

This weekend I consumed way too many animals folks. My belly is not happy with me this morning and I feel it may have something to do with the cow and pigs I ingested yesterday. I knew it was wrong at the time. I even said to myself, "This cannot end well." Ordinarily I stick to chicken and occasional pork! Yet I had steak friday night, Hot dogs on saturday, sausage, milk, pork chops and chicken apple sausage last night. All of this after a week of actually losing 5 pounds. Good job Erin! Maybe, at the time, my body was saying it needed protein. And I in my usual fashion overdid it a bit? Drat. It is okay though. I will do better this week I am certain of it. Mainly because right now I cannot fathom eating anything more than beautiful leafy green vegetables and fruit. My body must be trying to cleanse and detoxify by way of subliminal messages to my gut. As in, "YOU DUMMY! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! WE ARE GOING TO EAT HEALTHY THIS WEEK WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT DO YOU HEAR ME!!!" I have always been known for my subtlety....*wink*.

No sense crying over spilt milk…but what about a whole bowl?

2009-06-24T07:37:00.001-04:00

All is quiet in the household. Vanessa and Chloe are sleeping soundly on the sofa and loveseat; Dogs at my feet dreaming of rabbits and bacon; I surf the internet, as is my morning ritual, and catch up with my friend Luci and her adventures in The Schaeffer Family. Very suddenly a crashing noise erupts from the kitchen. Jared perches on the counter looking down at the shattered cereal bowl. He looks up at my face and waits to see if I am going to flip or what. No worries. It is only a broken bowl. A bowl decimated into approximately 1,000,003 pieces is spread from one end of the kitchen to the other. There is even an overspill into the living room carpet. This really is not a big deal though. I get the broom and dustpan to begin the cleanup that is my life. From one mess to the next I flow; day in and day out it seems.

The floor is clear. No shards left behind. I vacuum the living room floor too because what is the point of only vacuuming two feet into the living room right? As I wrap the cord onto the machine, proud of my work and the calmness with which I handled everything. I hear cereal poured into a bowl. Nathan is ready for his breakfast now. He picks up the bowl and turns too quick to the left. Cheerios fall to the floor. Not the entire bowl but enough to make me roll my eyes and heave a big sigh. Nathan's response is, "I'm sorry!" Do not be fooled fair reader into thinking this is an apologetic tone from a 7 year old boy. Please insert the whiny it's-not-my-fault tone. I sweep up the Cheerios. Jared has come back now for his food. Just as I hang the broom on its nail I hear the unmistakable falling of cereal bits.

Dear Lord give me strength because I know my will alone will not get me through this day.

Summers’ summer plan…..or lack there of

2009-06-19T12:41:00.003-04:00

What was I thinking! On any given day I have my three kids PLUS up to four extras! Not just any extra children can stay at my home during the summer. It is apparently a pre-requisite to have some emotional baggage in order to live or stay here.

Vanessa the 4-year-old attention starved princess from the land of "Iwanthattoo"; close to the county of "Erinwatryoudoing". Nick, the handsome smooth talking 12 (birthday was Tuesday) year old boy; his first day here he cleaned my living room, vacuumed and bough a pizza for everyone here then proceeded to hold it over my head for the rest of the week. Don't worry; his bribery did not work on me much to his chagrin. Next on the roster we have Franklin and Herbert. Their birthday is Saturday. They will be 10 or 11; neither one of them is sure how old they are. Both are a bit on the sneaky and rough playing side of life.

Also we have in this home my own little emotional baggage carrying hoodlums. Jared thinks he is above us all because he is 10 and is now going into the 5^th grade. And so he obviously has passed me in my knowledge quests. Nathan seems to think that he is in fact in charge of the entire brood. All this power at the age of 7. For reasons completely understood by me he is completely annoyed with Vanessa and will not hesitate to count out or smack her butt if I am not paying attention. This has been harshly admonished by me of course. Nathan though feels he is older than she is and so he has the authority to dish out rules. Chloe is now 3 years old. Chloe is a jealous woman. And, as you are probably aware, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If Chloe feels Vanessa is in any way getting the upper hand in a situation she will pull out the stops and push and scream her way to the front. I actually thought giving her the larger cup at lunchtime would help because it was bigger and therefore better. Right? No. She was furious and completely beside herself with upset because Vanessa's cup had blue flowers on it. Never again! I will forever make sure they have the exact same cup from now on.

A summer vacation is very much needed. I cannot wait until we head out with the camping gear and set up next to Raystown Lake. What? We don't have one planned yet? That is correct. Hubby has next to no vacation time. I have to reschedule all the kids. Nothing is planned right now.

SERENITY NOW!

Untitled by Erin Summers

2009-06-16T08:10:00.001-04:00

I honked the horn as I

Drove by

As if to say

No broken hearts here

No tears have fallen

I hope you were not hurt

Because I was not

If only I could have looked calmer

Cooler

The wind in my heart

Blowing past any cares

As if to say

No broken hearts here

No tears have fallen

My dreams still live on

Despite all said

And all not said

Life carries on

It started today.

Untitled by Erin Summers

2009-06-15T10:28:00.002-04:00

When I take a breath

And grasp at the strings of my life

Capturing the freedom

Choosing to run

Select the thoughts carefully

And tolerate the noise

Endure this life; one breath at a time

Love what I am

What I have become

What I was

Look in a mirror

Examine each crease

Each freckle

Each follicle

Head turn left

Right

Was that always there?

Has this mole changed?

My skin smoother

My waste slimmer

My mind fresh

Look into this mirror and see

What I was

Will be

WOMAN

Morning at my house

2009-06-11T09:30:00.002-04:00

Morning has arrived again at the Summers household.

I managed to drive the boys to school without the use of duck tape. In recent months this is a feat in itself! For reasons unknown to me, my 7 year old thinks he is 16. I do not recall giving him this impression but obviously there was a message sent somewhere. Nathan refused every simple request made of him this morning. Turn off the game; take your medication; put on shoes and socks; help Jared clean up the living room. I started these requests simply enough with a "please" or "could you" but to no avail. I then gave him full warning that he was making the choices this morning. He would need to live with consequences. Nathan continued to sit at the table and give me this pout face defiance that only a mother can slap. I did not slap his adorable cheeks thanks to a regular regimen of calming coffee and hard core drugs. Nathan is grounded for the day.

I vacuumed the floor in our living room.

I instructed the kids (all four of them) to head out to the van. Nathan was kicked off the bus for the rest of the year as of last Friday. This is not entirely his fault but I will explain further at another time. Nathan seems to think he should sit in the front seat with mommy. Please read the above again if you are unsure why this is a problem for me. I instructed him to get into the back of the van. Jared had already been rewarded with the option of sitting with me this morning. Nathan was on the verge, I believe, of refusing to get into the van. I am fairly certain the oncoming mother in his direction helped to change his mind. We drove the two miles to school.

As soon as the boys were out of the car, Vanessa starts, "Erin, where are we going now?" "Why are we going there?" "Can we go to the park today when it gets warmer?" I used to think Chloe was a talker; then I met Vanessa. She is a cute little girl with some serious attention issues. But maybe that is every kid her age? Chloe has become a jealous green eyed monster when Vanessa is around because…well…because I am Chloe's mom and Vanessa wants to be babied a lot. So we walked into the house. The living room is clean the table is fairly clean. The dogs are in their beds. The girls pulled out their tents and blankets. The living room is wrecked.

Open Letter to my Stepdaughter

2009-05-22T14:11:00.001-04:00

Briana,

I wish you would talk with a young friend of mine who has lost her father...for real. Try calling Ashley Stine at 428-0805. Chad Stine died about a year or so ago after a long fight with colon cancer. He wasted away right before her eyes and in constant pain. There is not a day that goes by she doesn't think about him and wish he was here for her to talk to OR fight with. Kicking your father out of your life when you're mad is not a good choice.

There was a time when you said you loved us and I like to think that is still true behind all of this hate talk. There has been not a thing done to you to warrant this kind of a wall.

You bashing me online shows how far from being grown up you really are. I pray for you every day and hope you are finding someone to talk to if not to us. I also hope you understand boys are not going to solve this one for you.

I love you and your father loves you. The more you continue to hate us the more we miss you.

All my love, patiently waiting,

Erin

My Mom's Birthday is tomorrow! Love you Mom

2009-02-28T11:37:00.001-05:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

I agree with Sharpton on this one.

2009-02-19T08:09:00.002-05:00

Cartoon by Sean Delonas and printed by the New York Post yesterday 2/18/09.

I have to say this is the one time I agree with Sharpton. Ordinarily, I feel he makes matters worse than they are. But this time...? It really was not smart of the cartoonist to use a monkey in this case. It is well known that calling an African-American person a monkey is a racist term (i.e. porch monkey). Use your head Mr. Cartoonist!!! I believe the cartoonist. He says he did not mean it in the racist slang term. He was trying to be modern and above the racist innuendos. I believe he intended to mean the stimulus bill was created by some animal that did not have the intelligence to create it. But the fact of the matter is this. We live in America where racism still survives. If the president were a woman right now, you would not draw her as a female dog (a.k.a. bitch). It just would be offensive and inappropriate.

and this is why I do not work out!

2009-02-12T17:31:00.001-05:00

don't you forget it

2009-02-12T17:23:00.002-05:00

Why now GOD?

2009-02-05T22:14:00.001-05:00

I understand that God does not give us anything we cannot handle. I know our struggles are not because of God but are to be used to learn….something? I am having trouble this evening because a neighbor friend, 10-year-old girl, has been diagnosed with lymphoma. The doctor called to Mom this evening and reported over the phone that her daughter has cancer. She needs to go to a hospital tomorrow to begin chemotherapy. The mass removed from her breast on Monday was malignant. There are more masses under her arm which look like grapes and have been growing and painful. Shayla is the oldest of 5 siblings. Shayla's mother and the rest are … well… devastated. They are scared and confused and have no real information other than the 10 year old has cancer. Why did the doctor hand the situation in this manner? Was there no other way? Couldn't he have met with them tomorrow and instructed them to head for the hospital? He really needed to give this information in person and have the time to explain the entire scenario to them. They did not need what happened this evening. The family is not medically savvy. By saying this I mean mom doesn't have education in the medical field. Cancer means death to them. No matter what kind it is. Shayla told me she is going to die. Honestly, I do not know if this is true or not but I will be damned if I am going to tell a 10-year-old girl she is going to die without a fight. All she knows is that Cancer is death. This is not fair. I do not understand. I pray for wisdom and protection for the Saylor family. Mom and Shayla need strength above all. Mother is not always a calm person in situations of stress. She needs to be strong for her daughter. I know mom is scared to death. I would be too. To me, this is not what Shayla needs to see right now. The other four kids came over to my house for a while this evening to calm down and give the adults and Shayla a bit of time to digest and regroup. When I walked into the house to get them, it was chaos. Mom is crying, kids are crying, Shayla looks devastated. Doctor, you did your patient a disservice this evening. I called the kids over and I prayed for them all. Before I left, I prayed with Mom for strength and peace. I am not sure of their place with Christ. I mean to say I do not know what their stand is. Where is their stand now? Will mom and dad pull closer or run away? What would my answers be to them? Mom and I have been friends for almost 2 years now. Her mother passed away suddenly last summer after a massive heart attack. I have become a shoulder to cry on and someone to answer "mom" questions. I am happy and honored to have this place with their family. Now what do I say? I am praying for wisdom to handle and say the right things. Should I offer my pastor to them? They do not attend a church right now but I feel they need a church family even more today than ever.

6th picture of the 6th folder in my pictures

2009-02-05T14:48:00.002-05:00

This is the jacket of my father. He wore the stunning tan corduroy to woo my mother. He was the stylish stuntman from a 70's sitcom, That's Heavy Man. My mom watched from the sidelines; waiting for her chance to make it big in TV world. Dad prepared for the most dangerous jump yet. Running at full speed he jumped from one roof and through a plate glass window into a diaper service warehouse. He landed in the "dirty" bin. It was after this moment, while crawling out of the bin, he laid eyes on mom. She was quite the looker in her bell-bottomed leisure suit. Feathered back hair and glasses sealed the deal. He was hooked. Mother was not overly impressed at first. She quickly realized the smell was not his usual brand. I like to think it was the jacket which sold her.

………………………….

Unfortunately, that particular picture is of a men's suit jacket. Why Erin, you might ask, do you have a random photo of a corduroy jacket with big brown buttons? The answer my friend is simple. We sell these lovely items. Not all of the jackets are corduroy. In fact, most are not. Rather, we try to sell men's jackets on eBay. Business is very slow right now though. When hubby sold jackets years ago he was able to completely supplement his/our income. Not so much now. This month was the slowest yet. I guess jackets are just not a necessity in the current market world?

Drat the cat is out of the bag!

2009-02-02T10:19:00.002-05:00

Ordinarily I try to keep this on the DL.

Chloe’s new Hair Do

2009-01-25T15:41:00.002-05:00

My daughter Chloe does not like her hair to be messed with. And by that I mean she does not want clips or bows or hair bands or anything that keeps it in order. I am not sure why this is but there you have it. Chloe loves Dora the Explorer. And so, daddy purchased a pack of hair bands which happen to be in a Dora bag. These are ordinary hair bands. No special design. The only difference is the bag they arrived inside. Well, you can see this was a successful experiment.

Now to purchase some vegetables in Dora bags….

obligatory test post

2009-01-24T14:55:00.002-05:00

Just want to get a feel for what this is going to look like......test test test 1 2 3